Living with Crohn's Disease: The road to recovery

This is your digestive system.

This is your digestive system with Crohn's Disease.

I had surgery three weeks ago on Tuesday. I was in the hospital for 5 days - and if I had stayed one second longer I would have murdered someone and I would be writing this blog from a jail cell. If inmates are allowed to have computers - and internet access - which I'm sure they're not.

I want to tell you - MORPHINE AND THE Patient Administered Dosing system-ajiggy - BEST THINGS EVER INVENTED! Last time I went through unbearable pain and didn't even open my eyes for two whole days. This time was much much better. Probably a combination of me being super healthy before surgery and the better pain management.

I had a great team of surgeons and wonder of wonder - lovely student nurses! During the week the 3rd year RN students were working at the hospital and each of them got 2 patients only so you get a lot of undivided attention. It was lovely, my nurses this go round were wonderful.

My first night there was sucky, I had a room mate who was overflow from orthopedics and she was throwing up and yelling and farting all night...not even a tiny exaggeration. She got moved and my new room mate was wonderful, a lovely lady who had gastric sleeve surgery for weight loss. We got along great. She went home and I got a night to myself and on my last night another room mate but she was older and pretty okay. I think I probably kept her awake more than the other way around.

My advice to anyone about to go through this surgery - get diaper rash cream and the softest most wonderful toilet paper you can buy. I even have wet wipes that are flushable. If you have not used that particular outlet before and suddenly after having no food for several days it turns on - you won't be wiping, you'll be dabbing. And often. And the doctors won't give you anything to slow that train down.

As one of my doctors told me after a night of zero sleep "the bowel is like an athlete, it has to be trained."

Finally after about a week and some good solid food and getting home things have slowed down and I'm not screaming like an infant with the worse case of diaper rash you've ever seen.

I do have one complaint - same scar - half the number of staples and what does this equation add up to? My incision has ripped open and I have a surgeons appointment tomorrow to figure out what to do about it. The staples are out. They migrated and moved out of the incision and weren't doing any good.

Funny story - see that big hole in my tummy on the right hand side? The nurses tried to tape it closed (which isn't possible because there's no extra skin there, it's just a hole to fill in where Chuck used to hang out) and when I complained that it was hurting me the way they were tugging on my gut they said....wait for it....if we don't tape this closed you're going to have a big scar.

EXCUSE ME? Are you missing the railroad tracks that run vertically from my boobs to panties? Granted some vain individuals would probably be freaking out if they end up with a scar like this but I'm going to tell people it's either a bullet wound or a shark attack. Both way more exciting than the truth.

I don't have a lot else to talk about right now, my days are a haze of codeine, tylenol, daytime television and napping.

I did manage to read two books though so that is awesome. As I'm feeling better I'll be able to start doing more. Right now I shower with a bath chair cause I can't stand up for long periods of time without getting woozy and falling in the shower is not something I'm interested in doing. I go up and down the stairs at home but as little as possible. And I've finally been able to start blowing my nose and coughing a little - but sneezing is still absolutely out of the question.

Oh and things are finally starting to be funny - laughing hurts like an SOB for quite a while after.

Anyway stay tuned and here are some pics of hospital me for your entertainment!

Right after surgery - that black cord and button were my morphine pump and button - my MAGIC button.

They check your incision by drawing awesome maps on the bandages. They write a time on it so the nurses and doctors can see how badly it's bleeding and where.