The final countdown!

Anyone who went to school in the early 90’s will remember that song – it was usually playing when your high school sports team was taking to the floor!

So I have a little experiment for all of you to try – it can definitely be done at home. First of all I want you to go to your liquor cabinet and mix yourself several of your favorite cocktails and drink those down. Enough so that you’re a little bit happy and unsteady on your feet but not so many that you fall down or puke or anything.

Next go into the kitchen and get a Ziploc bag and a bottle of water. Now open the Ziploc bag and hold it around pelvis level and then in a seated position try to pour the water into the bag without getting it all over yourself and without dropping the bag. You have just tried to empty your ostomy pouch when you’re partying.

I attended the St. Paul Rodeo Beer Fest on the Saturday of the long weekend. Got a little tipsy and posed in a group photo with a bunch of Philipinos…don’t know who they are and I am sure I will only ever see that photo through the magic of social media if ever. Also got the idea for the experiment and a blog post.

But I’m not done there! I have received the go ahead from both my surgeon and my doctor to get the reconnect surgery. I had an appointment with my surgeon and asked him straight up – “so do you install some PVC pipe in there with a little plumbers tape and glue?”

I don’t think my surgeon thinks I’m as funny as I think I am. For those of you who want to know – they staple you together.

The official date of the surgery – September 27. I’m officially done work September 23. I’m officially no longer dreading that weekend because I don’t have to do the prep for it. I don’t have to drink the nasty stuff that makes you empty your insides like an atomic bomb has gone off in your tummy. I don’t have to have only clear fluids for 2 days and survive on jell-o. Just no eating or drinking after midnight the night before.

Last time I had 47 staples but I was 120 pounds soaking wet at that time 3 years ago…I’m more than that now. So will I need more staples to close me up? Probably. The surgery cannot be done laproscopically (I never know how to spell that word) because they need room to root around in there.

I haven’t had to go number 2 in the traditional sense in 3 years. I am telling you that first time will not be comfortable let alone trying to do that with a cut open stomach that is healing. I got some great advice from my sister in law though – a cup of coffee and a good book!

Stay tuned – my pre operation appointment is September 20 – last time I had some doctor I couldn’t understand (see post from several years ago). It will be good to compare this visit with last time!