Almost There...

I’ve managed to make it through this pregnancy with very few complications. But I did have my little emotional breakdown the other night at home.

I need to back up a little to let you know that I’ve learned that pretty much no matter what is happening to your body it is “normal” during pregnancy. 

Oh you get bad headaches? That’s normal. Oh you are all swollen up like a blimp? That’s normal. Oh you have sore hips and walk funny? That’s normal.

I think even if I keeled over with blood leaking out of my eyes someone would tell me that it’s normal and it’s because of hormones. The sad part is I can’t even delude myself into thinking that after baby arrives that the hormones will stop with their craziness.

One of the wonderful things hormones do is change your hair growth. Some women experience glorious and shiny locks when they’ve only had hair that is dry and limp. Some women experience body hair that gets darker and thicker. And some women (this is the category I fall into) apparently get weird old person hairs that are white/clear but grow really long and in random places. 

The other night I was lying in bed talking to my husband and he got quickly distracted and grabbed at a hair that he noticed was on my face. It was about an inch long and pretty much clear but thanks to my lamp behind me it was very noticeable. I would like to tell you that one hair would not have sent me over the edge. Earlier the week before he had found a crazy old man hair in my eyebrow and the week before there was one on my tummy. But I’m probably lying – I’ve been extra tired lately and that one hair probably would have been enough.

I started laughing and crying at the same time. So ridiculous. And that’s when I came to the realization that before this pregnancy was over I was going to wake up and see something truly terrifying in the mirror.

• Pregnant woman waddle so I’m walking funny plus my feet and ankles are swollen and I’m feeling about the size of a house.
• So much nose congestion and the baby pushing on my diaphragm that most days I sound like I’m snoring while I’m awake. And at night well – I’m getting back at my husband for his snoring.
• Weird long hair growing in random places.
• Feeling awkward and when I move it’s not odd for me to make weird noises when I have to bend down for something or reach for something. (Lots of grunts and weird wheezing sounds.)
• And what’s really nailing it is that I would love to have a drink! Like a Christmas drink..with alcohol in it.

Add all that stuff up and guess what is going to be staring back at me in the mirror?!

We all know it’s true but I like how my hubby keeps being supportive and telling me I’m beautiful. It’s probably because he’s afraid of me.

On another note – we attended a labour and delivery/new baby course a couple of weeks ago. Got some good information out of it. Got some information we’ll be totally ignoring out of it. Going through the stages of labour it was nice to know what to expect and when to start heading to the hospital. It was not so awesome to hear that vomiting and shaking from the pain is normal. We kind of felt like vomiting and shaking right then and there.

My scar continues to do fine. I have very little sensation in that area so the stretching is not causing me any major discomfort. 

And as my stomach is getting bigger I have to say I can’t imagine how I would have managed if I still had my ostomy. I’m sure women out there have done it and have managed wonderfully. I can’t see my feet so I don’t know at all how I would manage to empty an ostomy bag without creating a giant mess. I’m not feeling sorry for myself though – on one of the support groups I’m a part of a woman asked the group if we had any suggestions for emptying a bag one handed because she had a stroke and really didn’t have fine motor skills on one side of her body.

A huge kudos to the women and men out there who have an ostomy and are struggling with weird infections or other health issues that makes everyday life even harder than just pooping out your stomach. Which by the way sounds like a cool party trick but no one wants to see it.