Almost There...

I’ve managed to make it through this pregnancy with very few complications. But I did have my little emotional breakdown the other night at home.

I need to back up a little to let you know that I’ve learned that pretty much no matter what is happening to your body it is “normal” during pregnancy. 

Oh you get bad headaches? That’s normal. Oh you are all swollen up like a blimp? That’s normal. Oh you have sore hips and walk funny? That’s normal.

I think even if I keeled over with blood leaking out of my eyes someone would tell me that it’s normal and it’s because of hormones. The sad part is I can’t even delude myself into thinking that after baby arrives that the hormones will stop with their craziness.

One of the wonderful things hormones do is change your hair growth. Some women experience glorious and shiny locks when they’ve only had hair that is dry and limp. Some women experience body hair that gets darker and thicker. And some women (this is the category I fall into) apparently get weird old person hairs that are white/clear but grow really long and in random places. 

The other night I was lying in bed talking to my husband and he got quickly distracted and grabbed at a hair that he noticed was on my face. It was about an inch long and pretty much clear but thanks to my lamp behind me it was very noticeable. I would like to tell you that one hair would not have sent me over the edge. Earlier the week before he had found a crazy old man hair in my eyebrow and the week before there was one on my tummy. But I’m probably lying – I’ve been extra tired lately and that one hair probably would have been enough.

I started laughing and crying at the same time. So ridiculous. And that’s when I came to the realization that before this pregnancy was over I was going to wake up and see something truly terrifying in the mirror.

• Pregnant woman waddle so I’m walking funny plus my feet and ankles are swollen and I’m feeling about the size of a house.
• So much nose congestion and the baby pushing on my diaphragm that most days I sound like I’m snoring while I’m awake. And at night well – I’m getting back at my husband for his snoring.
• Weird long hair growing in random places.
• Feeling awkward and when I move it’s not odd for me to make weird noises when I have to bend down for something or reach for something. (Lots of grunts and weird wheezing sounds.)
• And what’s really nailing it is that I would love to have a drink! Like a Christmas drink..with alcohol in it.

Add all that stuff up and guess what is going to be staring back at me in the mirror?!

We all know it’s true but I like how my hubby keeps being supportive and telling me I’m beautiful. It’s probably because he’s afraid of me.

On another note – we attended a labour and delivery/new baby course a couple of weeks ago. Got some good information out of it. Got some information we’ll be totally ignoring out of it. Going through the stages of labour it was nice to know what to expect and when to start heading to the hospital. It was not so awesome to hear that vomiting and shaking from the pain is normal. We kind of felt like vomiting and shaking right then and there.

My scar continues to do fine. I have very little sensation in that area so the stretching is not causing me any major discomfort. 

And as my stomach is getting bigger I have to say I can’t imagine how I would have managed if I still had my ostomy. I’m sure women out there have done it and have managed wonderfully. I can’t see my feet so I don’t know at all how I would manage to empty an ostomy bag without creating a giant mess. I’m not feeling sorry for myself though – on one of the support groups I’m a part of a woman asked the group if we had any suggestions for emptying a bag one handed because she had a stroke and really didn’t have fine motor skills on one side of her body.

A huge kudos to the women and men out there who have an ostomy and are struggling with weird infections or other health issues that makes everyday life even harder than just pooping out your stomach. Which by the way sounds like a cool party trick but no one wants to see it.

Hello little bean

It has taken us a long time…but we are finally 9 weeks away from adding a new little addition to our family.

I think it was a combination of me being healthy, being on no medication for the last couple of years and great timing. I should probably also add in a night of drunken revelry…

And boy this baby doesn’t know how lucky she is! Thanks to surgery that eliminated much of my intestinal tract she has a roomy bachelor like no other baby out there. Well except for my fellow surgical patients. I’m sure she has a disco ball in there, leather couches, a flat screen TV…and if she doesn’t have all that I can guarantee you that she has a full size kung fu training facility. I know this for a fact because I’m front row while she’s practicing for the sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Although why she has to use my bladder as her kicking target I don’t know.

I currently take as many vitamins as I used to take medication. When you don’t have a lot of space to absorb vitamins and nutrients you take extra folic acid, extra vitamin D and I tested very low in hemoglobin so I’m on two iron pills a day. I know in many people these pills cause constipation but not in my case. I scooted through the diabetes test…normal is up to 7.7 something-or-others and I tested 7.5. I told my doctor all that mattered was I passed. I’m not usually a C- student but I’ll take it!

I don’t know if it’s a sign of how much of a wuss I am but I’m really, really open to having pain medication during labor. Maybe it’s that for years and years I was in constant cramping pain and now that I don’t have it anymore I’m not in a rush to experience it again. I will give it a go and see – maybe it’s not as bad as everyone says it is. But I have a feeling me and my epidural are going to be good friends.

My stomach scars create their own interesting complications. Because of internal scarring our doctor would like to avoid a c-section if at all possible. The scar tissue could create serious problems both with the procedure and with my healing later on. I also have a keloid scar from my last surgery – which means a larger/pink unhealthy scar rather than a nice regular scar. It runs the entire up and down length of my tummy and can cause me pain as my stomach expands to accommodate the baby. I haven’t had any of it so far but I can chat with my doctors about elective surgery to help with my scarring after baby comes. This scar also means that instead of a cute round tummy like most pregnant ladies have…I have a cute round tummy with an indent that runs all the way down the middle.

As I told my doctor – I have taco baby tummy. I know that I notice it way more than others would. But it’s a weird shape.

So I would like to wrap up today by saying that I have had an incredibly easy pregnancy up to now. I have had no morning sickness, no swelling of hands or feet, been sleeping okay, no weird skin things going on, no weird food cravings and except for migraines in the first three months no headaches either.

Do I love being pregnant? Love is a strong word. I don’t hate it, but I’m more just getting through it and excited for baby to come. I have already started my list of things this baby owes me for:

1.       Missing all of patio drinking season this year.

2.       Missing all of Christmas party drinks this year.

3.       Making my chest even bigger than it already was.

4.       Sciatic nerve pain in my right hip which will not go away until baby comes.

5.       Sneezing/peeing at the same time…and usually nowhere near a toilet.

6.       Feeling large, awkward and generally not being able to go up a flight of stairs without stopping to take a breath.

(You know you’re big and awkward when you’re actually hoping your husband will put both hands on your butt and give you a big push cause that would make getting out of bed way easier!)